Hello everyone! Welcome to my first blogpost! I don’t know why I am running this blog, or why I am even posting this. However, I am just tired. This is an unraveling of my mess of a life and I am here to complain, resolve, and maybe complain some more. However, I hope for this place to be for all of us who are unraveling any types of messes in our lives!
Here’s my story for the day… Eight months ago after graduating a program I decided to move to another state. I lied to myself and told myself that if I moved to this city I will have a great job, great friends, and great money. It is one of the most expensive cities in the world. Now, you are probably wondering “Wow! I wish I was as idealistic as you!” Yeah, no you don’t.
The reason why I moved out of my boring hometown was because I was tired of my life getting stagnant. I had been fired from two jobs, I landed in jail, and I didn’t really have any friends whatsoever. I also didn’t like being around my family at all. I was tired of living with my parents, and never having a full-time position that I decided to get into a program to switch careers and finally live a life worth living for.
I moved to this very expensive city with no money after finishing my program. I convinced my mom it was what’s best since I had trouble finding work in my own hometown. They say you must have connections but I don’t have connections anywhere so what would be the problem?
Fast-forward to six months later, and I do not have a job. I am forced out of my prior living area. More on that in the next post. Anyway, thankfully my mom has a friend who knows a guy. I am relieved because the rent is affordable. I first check out the place and this guy to see if things are you know, safe. This man is a 65 years-old, who is friendly upon meeting.
He asks me if I cook, because I am so skinny. I thought it was weird, but I replied “yes, I cook”. He then asks me questions like so do you like to watch movies? I reply, “…yes, why?” . “Oh no, I’m just asking!” He offers me tea, because I am not fond of coffee and even with the interesting questions I am desperate and tell him when I will be able to move. He then drops me off at a cafe where I am getting work done. After saying my goodbyes to him, I am left relieved. I am thanking God, for a nice man to not only offer me a place to say because in his own words, “You are trying to get a job, I wouldn’t charge much”. But because he just seems nice, just like my mom said.
Living with this Jamaican man is okay at first. He continues to ask me what I like to do for fun, and tries to initiate small talk. On the day I move in, he helps me get my stuff and even ordered a bed for me to stay. He offers me food that he cooked, and I joke about how I hope it’s not poison. I actually tell him to take a bite first, and he laughs and does. We sit across from each other and talk some more. I tell him that the food is good, because he wants to know how it tastes. I don’t think much of this, because I am not getting any weird vibes…yet.
So let’s just cut to the chase. Over time, I noticed his conversations were getting a little more weird. I recall cooking and face-timing my mother, to ensure I was acheieving her recipe to the fullest. It was in the kitchen at night and right before my roommate( who happens to own the whole place) goes to work. His schedule is from 11 pm to 9 am and he works for the transit. He proceeds to tell me, “you know I never knew how sophisticated you were” . He then tells my mom, “I have a lovely roommate, I’m going to take her back to Jamaica with me”.
I felt uncomfortable then and there because I noticed that whenever this man was on the phone he would go on and talk about how he was going to ask “her” out. I never knew what her was, it couldn’t be me? When he asked me on the way to the cafe, if he had any children. He said, “not that I know of” and laughed. I had a feeling he was single, but I didn’t know if he was married, widowed, divorced, separated. Because I am not interested in him, I never cared to ask.
So that joke with my mom in the kitchen had frustrated me. Why would he say that, I am 26 years old. I am not interested in a 65 year-old man, my dad is a year older than him. Prior to that, I had been on the phone with my cousin — I say in an apartment-like building. The walls are thin and you can hear everything!! Additionally, my roommate has a loud voice when he talks so…yeah — she asks me about my place as I told her I just moved. I also tell her that my roommate is 65-years-old. I overhear this man who is also on the phone with someone say, ” Why does she keep mentioning my age, makes me sound old”.
Unraveling A Mess 